Wallpaper of my 16th year

When I was 16, the Raiders were going to a championship game. We were in the playoffs and we were going out of town for one of the games. The band and guard was sitting on the charter buses waiting to take off. My friend Jennifer came up to me and handed me a brand new notebook of paper. It was her way of paying me back for something (it's been so long I don't remember what).

I was sitting in front of Mel and Jessi, and I spent my time writing. I started writing about this group of people, stuck in our world. They were here temporarily, or they were supposed to be. Five of them had no idea who they were and assumed they belonged here because their memories had been altered. One of them knew exactly who all of them were and bound by sacred oaths she had taken she could not tell them. She had wonderful abilities, yet somehow they'd been depleted and she had no way of getting her energy back. Not until she found her way back home. One night she disappears and the others go to find her. In their searches they come upon a cave where they find an orb. Something about this orb calls to them and they touch it. Magic happens and they find themselves falling into a pit of oblivion, to waken in a world they don't recognize. They're found by someone who knows them very well and is happy to see them alive. Taking them to a caravan, he gets them settled. Everyone recognizes them, though none come near them, having discovered they have no memories of this world.

Still, they are concerned for their friend, who they never found. During their trip there is one wagon that calls their attention. At various times they all try to get to it, only to be thwarted by the man who found them. Their trip takes them to a large lake that they must cross by ship to get to their final destination. On the ship, they're attacked and the mysterious passenger of the covered wagon reveals herself.

Her name is Tisha.

During my 16th year, Lady Mage was born. It's gone through some pretty damn drastic changes since then, but my wallpaper would no doubt be filled with images of Crisna and Tisha & Trey & Co.

What Sixteen Means to You

"If youth is the season of hope, it is often so only in the sense that our elders are hopeful about us; for no age is so apt as youth to think its emotions, partings, and resolves are the last of their kind. Each crisis seems final, simply because it is new."

GEORGE ELIOT, Middlemarch

I know we are getting ready to wrap up and leave Mullaby, but I was thinking about the magic wallpaper and began to wonder: If I had magic wallpaper in my room at sixteen what would it look like?

Sixteen is a pretty significant age in many cultures. We are given more freedom, responsibility, independence coupled with first jobs, bills and feeling self sufficient and capable of providing for ourselves.

But sixteen also brings with it first loves and heartaches, losing childhood friends and forming a closer social circle that will be the sole reason for our existence our high school career. And detachment from parents and learning how to go from child to young adult while establishing and maintaining new family boundaries.

With all of this going on, what would your magic wallpaper reflect to you?

I have thought about this, and when I was sixteen I just wanted to be accepted for who I was: a brand new Christian, who played Meat Loaf a little too loud, read constantly, loved imaginary places and preferred an old fashion view of the world. And when I couldn't take the pressure anymore, I would sit in my room and draw the same thing over and over again: A waterfall.

I drew it on book covers, homework assignments, tests, shopping lists and even myself. It calmed me down and reminded me that even if the world couldn't find value in who I was, I didn't care because I had the ability to create something so beautiful that represented a simpler way of living and thinking.

Waterfalls are not just beautiful, they are powerful. They can also be considered a scared or safe place. Somewhere a person can reconnect with nature and the elements.

My wallpaper would have been a waterfall scene. I wasn't trying to run from my burdens, I was strong and fluid enough to handle them. I just wanted a place to be safe and occasionally reminded that I could get through whatever was placed in my path. I was a force to reckon with.

And on that note, I think I should start drawing those waterfalls again. It is evident by this post that my sixteen year old self is ever present and trying to tell me something.

So, what's your wallpaper?

Can you ever truly go home again?

“There was a mood of magic and frenzy in the room. Crystalline swirls of sugar and flour still lingered in the air like kite tails. And then there was the smell - the smell of hope, the kind of smell that brought people home. Tonight it was the comfort of browning butter and the excitement of lemon zest.”

Mullaby, NC is a magical place. The very wallpaper there changes patterns according to one’s mood. When a certain young baker creates her lavish confections, the air swirls with a visible sweetness, creating a tangible path that leads straight from her warm, earthy kitchen to the too-empty home of an old friend. A shy and quiet giant lives peaceably among mere mortals and at night, the strange Mullaby lights glow mysteriously in his woody overgrown backyard. It is to magical Mullaby where teenaged Emily Benedict is sent after the death of her mother, Dulcie.

Emily had never even heard of Mullaby before arriving there; had never known she had a gentle giant of a grandfather; had never known that her activist civic-minded mother grew up in an idyllic town where mysterious things are wont to happen. And she most especially never knew her mother’s darkest secret: why she left Mullaby and why she never returned. From her first day there, the Mullaby townspeople act strangely toward Emily, some regarding her with pity and others regarding her with clear loathing. It makes no sense to Emily and to compound the frustration, no one will explain or tell her anything about Dulcie at all, not even her grandfather.

Then there’s Emily’s neighbor, the beautiful and kind Julia Winterson. Though she’s only returned to Mullaby temporarily, she can’t help seeing something in Emily that calls to her. As Julia struggles to forget the past, Emily slowly begins to unravel it. The result will either free Mullaby from its secrets or doom Emily into repeating the very same mistakes her mother made.

At first glance, the story would seem to be Emily’s, but it felt more like the story of Julia and the town of Mullaby itself. Julia grew up in Mullaby an outcast. As soon as she graduated she fled without ever looking back. That is, until her father’s death. She reluctantly returns.

When she realizes she’d be better off paying her father’s restaurant mortgage in full so she can make a profit, she imposes a strict two-year deadline on herself. She sacrifices usual comforts so she can put nearly all of her earnings to pay off this debt.

Emily’s arrival is the catalyst for a series of encounters that slowly act to unravel Julia’s plan. Julia learns to confront her demons and ask more of life. She finds the courage to be brave, confront old regrets, make space for love and hope.

Sarah Addison Allen has created a cool fairy tale, the setting is so lush and detailed, yet almost dream-like. I could smell the cakes baking and feel the night breeze as it blew the leaves about Emily’s balcony, and I could feel the heaviness of the Mullaby lights as they glowed brightly outside Emily’s window.

This is such a beautiful little novel and though the ending was quite satisfying I was left wanting more. I think that’s the mark of a great story.

I also loved that the author provides recipes for several of the most intriguing cakes Julia bakes throughout the story.

Mood changing wallpaper is the best!

I would love it, if I had mood changing wallpaper in my room! Although I would think since I'm so moody it would be changing all the time.

On another note, this book really touched me, I felt the heartache that Julia felt when she had to give up her baby, it made me ache so bad for her.  I think this is why she is so nurturing towards Emily.  Once you are a mother there is no going back, you will always have that nurturing side, and it doesn't matter who it is! I haven't fully experienced it yet because I haven't been able to get past my first trimester, but it's like something changes inside you and it can't be helped.  I can also relate to Julia about the depression part, while I wasn't a cutter, I was a depression eater, I believed "comfort" food would actually comfort me, so I ate.  I guess I just see a lot of myself in her, I think that's why I connected to her so well. 

When I pictured Sawyer, I pictured the guy from lost, he's such a sweet guy and I'm so glad he persisted to reconnect with Julia, to make her feel again.  I think I cried when he found out that he had a daughter to me it was such a touching moment for him.

The Coffeys, at first I think I even mentioned to Allyssa that I thought they were werewolves because they didn't go out at night.  Although when Julia told Emily not to follow the lights, or pay them any mind I kind of put 2 and 2 together and figured that the lights and the Coffey's had something to do with each other.  But what a sad story about Win's uncle, that he wanted to commit suicide to get out of that family!

One final thought though I just have to point out that she used the word "undulating" a lot and it was driving me crazy, I kept thinking of Ms. Perkies from 10 things I hate about you, when she was writing her book! 

I loved this book so much, such an awesome tale of magic and not the wand waving,  cursing kind of magic either.  It just goes to show you that magic can be in all forms, from cakes calling people, mood changing wallpaper, to glowing in the dark! 

Final Post: Happy endings

I loved this book and it had happy endings for both Julia and Emily.  It's probably because I'm pregnant and I'm in this very happy, Disney-ish mood so this book was just perfect right now.  So thank you Allyssa for choosing this book and I would be interested in ready other books by Sarah Addison Allen.

I was surprised about the truth about Dulcie and Logan's relationship from Vance.  The whole time the story is set around Dulcie being self-absorbed and cruel with Emily trying to combat that.  I think this truth revealed that Win is more like Logan.  They both realized that the old family tradition of hiding their secret didn't work.  Logan went to the extreme of showing a group of people but I think Win was smarter in just showing Emily.  I really don't understand the Coffey's mindset of hiding it from their spouse.  What kind of relationship does that build? I can understand why Win's mother would have been upset finding out the secret from everyone else but her husband.  

I'm very glad that Julia told Sawyer about their daughter and I loved that they got back together at the high school bleachers where it all began.  The ending with Maddie showing up was wonderful.  Part of me is really curious how the conversation between her and Julia went but I think Allen made a good choice in leaving it to the imagination. I know however the conversation goes, it will turn out good because of how Allen has set up the book and Julia and Sawyer will finally get to have a relationship with their daughter.

Where does your magic lie?

We do not need magic to change the world. We carry all the power we need inside ourselves already: we have the power to imagine better.

J. K. ROWLING, speech to Harvard Alumni Association, 2008

Welcome to Mullaby: A small town with a mysterious past and a lot of magic. I will admit that I enjoyed Julia's story the best. I felt like hers was the most rounded and had more depth in regards to emotions, actions and personal feelings about the past and an unknown future. Emily's story on the other was more rooted in the supernatural and magical aspects of the world she was thrown into. She spent most of the story trying to break from her mom's unknown past and figuring out the Coffey family secret. Her growth was more flat due to the fast growing relationship of her and Win.

I think more then both stories, I enjoyed the themes that ran through the story: Faith, magic, belief, inner strength, truth and trust. Those aren't themes that can be found in most books these days. Something that I think should be rectified. People don't hold on to values or traditions these days. And when they do, it is usually for the wrong reason. Emily held her head high through all the ridicule and Julia had faith that if she just kept baking what she was searching for might just find her.

Magic only manifest around us once it has taken root in us. A lesson that we all need to learn. A lesson that we should make a tradition of passing down.

My final thoughts!

"You wouldn't happen to be a werewolf, would you?"


"Excuse me?" he said.


She slowly loosened her hold on the bar and sat back. "There are only two reasons I can think of for why you don't come out at night: night blindness or werewolf."


"And you decided to go with werewolf?"


"It was a toss-up."




So, as I've stated, Sarah Addison Allen is one of my favorite authors. I love the simple way she writes and magic she weaves into her books. Mullaby is definitely a place I would want to visit, I think. With giants and the Mullaby Lights, along with wonderful cakes, who knows what untold magic is still there?

The various back stories help add so much to the world Allen has created. When we find out the truth to how things truly went down with Dulcie and Logan, it makes me wonder to the depth of their story. Vance mentions that Logan was the only one who could control Dulcie. Ultimately, he's the deceiver and it's completely Logan's fault that the events of that fateful night happened. Morgan blames Dulcie fully for the way everything went down, but I think he's more angry that Logan outed their family the way he did. Logan was willing to show the world who he was because he was in love with Dulcie, but due to his past attempts on his life and Dulcie's sudden rebuttal, he took his life on the final shot. Morgan's relationship with his own wife has never recovered, but Win wasn't willing to let the past dictate how he lives his life with Emily. And it was really sweet of him to go up to Vance and told him he'd like to take his granddaughter out once his grounding was over. Made me go "Awww..."

I love Vance's character. He's such a gentle man and doesn't do anything to hurt anyone. His story with Lily was so sweet, and I adored the way she was able to still send him a message at the end of the book. It was the push he needed to get himself in gear and fix up his home, and start taking better care of his granddaughter. Not only for Emily's sake but for Dulcie's sake too.

Emily is a remarkable character because, despite what she's learned, she has an unwavering faith in the person her mother was. I got the impression when she said she'll always want to be like her mother, it was just a lot to live up to, that she's a little tired of trying to live up to her mother's image.Of course, I think Julia explained things best when she told Emily she was who Dulcie became.

Julia's story is probably the most heartbreaking, but she is one of my favorite characters because she's fighting to keep herself safe while not realizing she has actually come home. I don't like Beverly myself, and I was so glad when Julia told her she wasn't leaving. That scene in the diner was a real eye opener for Julia when she realized that her father showed how much he loved her in a quiet way. I also loved that she realized Stella was the best friend she'd ever had. It's just another indication of how much people can change. Plus, the fact that Sawyer was pretty detrimental to helping her heal was great. They came back together, even after he found out the truth. I love it.

Now...with Maddie showing up at the end, I can't help but hope at some point Sarah Addison Allen will write another book so we can see how Sawyer and Julia react to seeing her.

I love this book and everything in it!! :-D